Tuesday, November 23, 2004
ahahaha guess who's back!
back again!
valerie's back!
tell a friend;
guess who's back guess who's back...
ahahaha madness aep trip was madness!
i'm not a corn;
im a corny corny corn;
i have yellow;
i have green; and i have a purple spleen;
i am toasted
i am roasted
i am buttered all over!(:
TITANIC song
oh it was sad;
oh it was sad;
oh it was sad that the big ship
went down; to the bottom
and the husbands;wives and children
lost their lives oh it was sad.
ladeedaummm.
the trip was definitely an unforgettable experiencemaybe a month ago, when I asked him to watch the kids so I could go to a scrapbooking thing with Debbie, which seems to have been what triggered the final meltdown).
When he's in the vicinity, though, it's really hard not to expect things to be the way they used to be. Sure, he claims he was faking it the whole time, he never really liked me or wanted to be with me, but we used to joke around, sort of
conspire together, for lack of a better description. He hadn't been very physically affectionate in a long time, but he'd let me sit by him and lean on him a little, or hug him maybe.
He reluctantly said he'd spend Saturday with us; I'm pretty sure this was designed to make him look good to whomever is watching (his bosses, perhaps, and/or the person who kept calling him every few hours during the day and to whom he spoke in sweet reassuring tones the way one normally speaks to one's girlfriend, but that's neither here nor there, I suppose).
It was so, so, so hard to be driving around with him, but not be allowed to kid with him (he'd cut me off) or touch him (he'd squirm away as if I smelled like dookie ... hrmm, maybe he knew something I didn't?). He took sort of a clinical interest in the kids, as if (a) they
` repeat-
