Monday, February 20, 2006
sighh..im gaining weight like crazy.
arghhh...
anyhow.
aep today was pretty interesting.
i've changed my entire project for the third time.
even my theme..-.-"
so i've basically gotta start from square 1. brilliance i swear.
but its okay..
haha cuz aep is the only subject i'll willingly and always give my all for.
afterall, without aep i dont know where i'd be man.
grins.
just read my tagboard and i've decided that anonymous is right(:
so what if i work hard and everything, it doesnt necessarily get me into rj or vj.
but u know what. i dont give a fuck.
cuz simply,im just gonna give it all i got.
do my best and see how things go.
vj, rj, nj are all places and goals im inspired to want to achieve.
and if the outcome proves that i cant drop by at least 11 points.
then so be it (:.
if im really not meant to go there. maybe not having the abilities needed to.
i'll gladly accept that fact. and i'll probably just end up in aussie like my sis lol.
or i'll pursue art. a sign i guess.
grins (: so yeap.
but im hoping im not worth just 20 pts;
cuz i got that without putting my 100 percent effort in it.
so i think i can do better than that (:
cuz i got that with studying 4 out of my 10 subs.LOL.
but lady luck was pretty much on my side too.
so yeap!
(:
anyhow,
the ankle's good.
really disappointed i didnt register in time for the dualthlon though ):.
ran 2km this morning.
and damn did it feel good after not running for 2 weeks (:.
lalala.
anyhow.
gotta go do research and first hand drawings for aep!
cheerio!(:
` repeat-
Friday, February 17, 2006
i passed chinese for the first time this yr for 3 minutes...
before i found an error in the marking..
and was left with 24/50.
ugh.i swear. i was never meant to do chinese.
the week's been dull.
nth much has gone on.
except the holiday on thursday(:.
went out with sham,
took many pics! shall upload soon!(:
watched CASANOVA.
hahaha and ate loads!
this is why..i now look like the stuffed turkeys meant for the slaughter house to be prepared for thanksgiving dinner meant for 60 starving children..
but aye..dont give a damn anymore. i ate my chocolates from valentines.
my brownies and plenty of niann gao!(:
the ankle's looking pretty good.
hope it heals soon..
went for tap(: grins hahaha didnt hurt at all.
whoopeee haha.
oh yeah..valentine's was muffiny (:
I LOVE MUFFINS!haha.
jgs motions are out.
we're against hci..6pm.
hehh...
god i implore u and i pray so hard for u
to take us under ur wing and guide us through this round.
keep us focused and always remember the great speaker u urself were.
rj.vj.rj.vj.rj.vj...nj?ac?....
AHHHHHHHH!
psst*
btw, gill: hci stands for hwa chong instituition dearie..(:
` repeat-
Sunday, February 12, 2006
someone convince me that if i actually put in hardwork rj will accept me.
or vj for that matter.
or hci if such aspirations are even worth considering.
roar.
` repeat-
| You scored as Musical/Rhythmic. You are sensitive to sounds in your environment, enjoy music and prefer listening to music when you study or read. You learn best through melody and music. People like you include singers, conductors, composers, and others who appreciate the various elements of music.
Musical/Rhythmic | | 86% | Verbal/Linguistic | | 86% | Intrapersonal | | 82% | Visual/Spatial | | 75% | Bodily/Kinesthetic | | 68% | Interpersonal | | 68% | Logical/Mathematical | | 64% |
The Rogers Indicator of Multiple Intelligences created with QuizFarm.com |
haha i wonder how accurate this really is.
` repeat-
i am for some reason really sleepy.
and im officially uncontactable since the disappearance of my phone.
lala.
-6 points here i come!
-runs off to do work.
` repeat-
Saturday, February 11, 2006
" like van gogh, val goh will follow"-my idea of a lymeric.
and gill complains..-.-"
ehh btw ppl.
i lost my phone.
so dont message till further notice!
` repeat-
"laudate laudate dominum, omnis gentes, laudate dominum"
"exultate jubilate, peranos ominis(sp?) omnis gentes!"
everythings going wrong.
im stoning much more than ever, socialising hasnt really been anything i've done of late.
my studies are deproving and motivation is lacking.
my enthuse has slacken and im just really stoned.sighh.
somewhat, i am really excited to leave secondary school and see what jc is really like/
start anew prbably.dont really know;
Perhaps i've thought too much,but im burning darker than fudge.Can't take this pain no more,it's making me feel forlorn.pretending to stare at the floor,i cant wait to shut the doorcant see myself more alone.please, just let me go be a stone.How quickly that time has flewand i really do still have no clue,i'd rather be banished out there in the cold-i'll just live on cornflakes and grow old.All lies, they buzz like flies.sarcasm a bitch in my eyes,reality's tight teethering slap to my face;silence and solitude, im going insane.surrender so slow, this sole sulking soul.so blinded by life, for what? to die?bury this mellow and calloused deep sighs,i'll find my utopia ,6 feet underground.another jgs lost.
feels wrong.feels sad.
but i didnt cry. i didnt feel like we deserved it even if we won anyways.
it brought more disappointment then anything else.
as shrill silence reigns.black pitless skies.far cries beyond,unknown, un-found."may our living be thanksgiving, remembering your name now and always..."
` repeat-
Thursday, February 09, 2006
ladies and gentlemen.
tmr's the first round of jgs 2006.
this officially marks the beginning to the end of my debating career.
a short and pathetic span of 2 yrs.
has brought about loads of tears, smiles and friendships i dont think i can ever forget.
like miche said, from dep jr. 2004, people have changed, the circuit has changed and well,
debates itself has played a pretty darn big role.
the joy of getting into dep jr in 2004,
to the disappointment of not getting into intermediate in 2005
have been part of all the highlights in my 2 yr span.
it feels like my career as a debater hasnt even begun and yet its drawing to an end.
the numerous secret trainings at subway and the hilarious times we've had,
digressing from our cases and ending up at the neoprint machines.
(:, the many group prayers before our debates, where we held hands and all pretended to be calm, and made up ridiculous prayers which did really have a solemn meaning to them.
the ij bears constantly falling off the tables as we debated.
and most importantly, the late night dinners after all our jgs rounds (:
these are all unforgettables.
and then, the very first thing that sparked off my career,
youth fourteens in 2004.
where al sonn and i.
conquered all fears and ventured into the rj premises having not prepped for the motions.
(: where my first third speech came about, without even knowing what i was talking about.
and where the three of us.all blur blocks with messy desks.
ended up as semi-finalists.
losing to catholic high.
and then meeting my dysfunctional family along the way/
one yr ago,
my first jgs competition, being thrown in when someone backed out of our team.
speaking alongside char and van.
the most incredible time it was to experience a team with two other seniors.
much more experienced and calm then i was.
then again, im still the most emotional one on the team lol.
i rmb how much i idolized judith and nalli.,
the way they managed to co ordinate so well on the floor,
and to one day become speakers like they were.
i've probably never reached such standards, but knowing that i had such ambitious dreams really is quite a laugh.
today's post might be really cheesey.
and so what if no one really understands a thing about debates.
and how essentially its all just bullshit with little substance (:
where 6 speakers each talk for 6 minutes about utter crap.
and boring issues which normal teens cant be bothered with?
the fact is, i enjoyed every minute of it (;
the breakouts, the failures, the bad judges, the wins, the people, the teams i've worked with and the stress and ridiculous rebuttals and POIs i've given.
you give and take.you learn and live.one life is all you've ever got, boy u've got me started and im not gonna stop.so slide along slide yea baby thats right. im gonna show u the time of your life
` repeat-
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
"laudate laudate dominum, omnis gentes, laudate dominum"ok.
life's not all that lala.
things are going crazy,
i havent slept more than 4 hours in a single night for 1 and a half weeks.
im completely exhausted;
i sprained my ankle cuz i tripped on the stairs.
and debate comp is against scgs on friday.
tmr i have a test on differentiation,
and heh,
im on the comp now getting my rebuttals down.
with a church hymn stuck in my head.-.-"
brilliance.
havent written a poem in ages;
and finally got down to writing one when mrs fam was talking yesterday..
=X..
dont have it with me now though,
haha..
anyhow;
left school early at 0930 today.
was completely exhausted.
couldnt take it at all. felt like i was going to die if i sat through another period,
after which i went home, snoozed till 2,
and rushed back to school for student's invest rehearsal and debates.
i've decided the only bright side of today was my
blueberry merry muffin from starbucks (:
gosh, i do so love muffins.
i shall one day find the muffin man (:
and i'll get to eat my many different types of muffins!
sighh..
speaking of which my maid happily told me today that i gained weight.
ahhhh- smashes head against the wall.
you know,
life sucks when everything's a mess.
sigh.
and i cant even sleep early tonight cuz i've gotta do my work.
study and file my ss worksheets.
which i havent even completed.
arghhh annoys the hell out of me.
ah anyhow,
sprained ankle or not,
friday, 8.30pm. jgs round 1.
im hell excited to see what ij can do.
last year debating for ij.
and possibly the last few times for me.
oh mannn..
--"exultate, jubilate"
` repeat-
"laudate laudate dominum, omnis gentes, laudate dominum"ok.
life's not all that lala.
things are going crazy,
i havent slept more than 4 hours in a single night for 1 and a half weeks.
im completely exhausted;
i sprained my ankle cuz i tripped on the stairs.
and debate comp is against scgs on friday.
tmr i have a test on differentiation,
and heh,
im on the comp now getting my rebuttals down.
with a church hymn stuck in my head.-.-"
brilliance.
havent written a poem in ages;
and finally got down to writing one when mrs fam was talking yesterday..
=X..
dont have it with me now though,
haha..
anyhow;
left school early at 0930 today.
was completely exhausted.
couldnt take it at all. felt like i was going to die if i sat through another period,
after which i went home, snoozed till 2,
and rushed back to school for student's invest rehearsal and debates.
i've decided the only bright side of today was my
blueberry merry muffin from starbucks (:
gosh, i do so love muffins.
i shall one day find the muffin man (:
and i'll get to eat my many different types of muffins!
sighh..
speaking of which my maid happily told me today that i gained weight.
ahhhh- smashes head against the wall.
you know,
life sucks when everything's a mess.
sigh.
and i cant even sleep early tonight cuz i've gotta do my work.
study and file my ss worksheets.
which i havent even completed.
arghhh annoys the hell out of me.
ah anyhow,
sprained ankle or not,
friday, 8.30pm. jgs round 1.
im hell excited to see what ij can do.
last year debating for ij.
and possibly the last few times for me.
oh mannn..
--"exultate, jubilate"
` repeat-
Sunday, February 05, 2006
ladies and gentlemen.
i have done the impossible.
and finished writing a 5 page essay on China's one child policy.
and i am the one who has hated geography all my life.
she better damn well give me a good grade man.
my entire afternoon..
5 pages..
` repeat-
im damn fucking exhausted.
i so fucking want and wish that i could leave singapore and start afresh everything.
debates been great and everything.
been stressful but fun.
and i love it.
sailing's been slack and its nt too bad.
but everything else sucks.
i hate it .
rmb my new yr's resolution to not say the f word more than once in a month?
well broken.
im so freaking tired/
i dont want to take up anymore damned commitments.
and i just wanna get over and done with my o lvls.
i dont want to get into anything serious.
i dont want anything disrupting my studies or my ccas.
i just want to take a break and do things the way i want to and not how other command me to do so.
i hate being threatened.
i hate being forced.
i hate being belittled.
i hate having restricted perimeters set by people who shldnt be doing so
and i hate having to succumb to another.
i love the fact that i have something called freedom.
and that im a workaholic.
FUCK OFF EVERYTHING.
give me a break.
AH FUCK.
let me apologise though.
for my tremendous usage for a horrible word.
but im really DAMN frustrated.
` repeat-